Couples and Grieving

Couples and Grieving

Couples and Grieving

You have most likely heard the saying, “Everybody Grieves Differently”. This goes for couples as well.

Even though Char and I had been married for 21-years, the method we grieved after the death of our two children, Jenelle-age 19, and Amy-age 9, as well as my mother, Jean, resembled night and day.

I cried typically– Char didn’t weep for 4 months.
I understood immediately that I would never ever see them alive once again. She believed their deaths were a mistake and she would see them again soon.
I was upset with God for not protecting them. Char knew they were in a much better location– heaven.
Managing sorrow as a couple is tough. We were informed that the divorce rate for couples after a considerable loss was much greater than typical. We chose to not let our disaster destroy our marriage. Instead, we picked to:

Strategy Ahead
After a tragic loss, couples require something to “look forward to”. It can be something little– like a dinner date at a new restaurant– or something big– like a trip to Alaska.

It took us around 7 months to even consider our future without Jenelle and Amy. The procedure took longer than expected, we initially fulfilled our new daughter, Melissa, in Guangzhou China, on Christmas Day, 2005.

The 2nd thing that kept us going was preparing a household trip to Disneyworld in Florida. Mama had actually always wished to take the entire family– five children, five partners, and eighteen grandchildren to see Mickey Mouse. We arranged the trip around the very first anniversary of the death of mommy, Jenelle, and Amy.

Do not concentrate on what you lost, focus on what you had!

It drove us crazy until we began thinking about the amazing nineteen and nine years, respectively, we had with Jenelle and Amy. Thinking about the good times helped us to be thankful for the years we had with our children and gave us the peace of mind to go forward with our lives. We likewise knew that our children would desire us to have an excellent life, even without them.

Be Patient with Each Other

Couples need to support each other through this dreadful thing called sorrow. It is to simply be there and let your partner know that you will be with them throughout your life together and that you can envision a better future together.

Write it Down!

Often it is much easier to make a note of our ideas and sensations vs. attempting to express them orally. If you are having problem with how to state what you are feeling and what you need from your partner, put it in writing rather. He or she will appreciate your effort and have a better understanding of precisely how to assist.



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